well, this post is about the case between me,shaorui with jasper....tues something happens and jasper fan1 lian3 with shaorui and me... well jasper seems to still think me and shaorui are in the wrong as we cannot ask him out of game for just 1 min!! 1 min!!! my goodness... im just calling jasper out of the game for a while and that while last for a minute only... but he chose to fan1 lian3 with me maybe 10 days? 10 months? 10 years? or even forever... why dont he just that 1 minute that time and everything will be in peace... so me and shaorui dont need stress even after camp and before going camp... we are discussing about how to stop this... now when jasper saw us... he was like as dont know as... haiz... i dont wish our friendship with jasper will end like this... but i really got something to say... according to what me and shaorui have see jasper this year when he came back to BB, we realize he had a bit of attitude problems... now i think that shaorui and me were not wrong, and i also think jasper not coming out of game is not wrong too, but jasper was wrong after he end the game and defy us... actually i dont think calling him out of game was wrong, it is reasonable as just wanna ask him a few things and pass him his poncho... also not ask him not to play for the rest of his life... and the thing about he break his promise... i dont care liao lah... he want continue his pasal... all people who promises me something all also nv keep their promise... now in my life, my dictionary dont seems to have keeping promise this phrase... everyone around me who promises me something, but in the end the promises is broken

maybe this is my life bah... everyone dont just seems to give a damn about me... maybe God wants my life to be this way... but its actually painful inside me... everytime just really feels like crying, but i just cant... why all things just happens to me like this?? family prob, financial prob to me and my mother, friendship prob between me and a few guys, studies prob, and also a few more... why cant i just live peacefully in a nice family and live a in way that i wont hate people, studies is average good, and also maybe love bah... haiz... i wonder why i nv kena depression... so many things so stress, maybe outside me, u people dont seems im stress, but inside me was like i cannot tahan... family prob and money, i just cant say it out to my father about it... then alot things also cant say it out.... i came to believe a bit in christianity during cell... when leslie helped me pray about my studies, got one lame one he pray for my BGR -.- , haha but the studies... i go temple pray all this, but i dont get the feeling... but i still believe in buddhist all this lah... at first i dont really believe in christianity, until when leslie open his mouth and pray for my studies after he heard my studies prob, i cried... true... tears just roll down my cheek... that moment i was like feeling as if Jesus wants to help me too... as for hatred for some people, dont wanna continue hate le... i have hated since pri 5 till now... and hate people is really tired, i made this decision is becoz i watch the 7pm show yesterday and they got say about hating people... i wont hate him, but will just treat him as stranger and my BB mate too bah... as for another guy who still say that im his so called "didi" well as i last year already started to hate him a bit... as it another story... this year hate him more is something more worst, but just wanna stop hating him and treat as my BB primer bah...sorry to u if i have treated u so cold this year... i will treat u as a primer as from now on...

then about love, i think alot people know about my first love in pri sch bah also known as chu1 lian4 haha... well that was a happy but tiring and sian period of time, started during pri 4 ended pri 6... haha pri sch story so long le... forgot alot things also... then sec sch... also alot people know lah hor, started sec 1...till now havent end yet...haha this love seems to be totally different from pri sch... this love changes me totally, im different from who i am in the last time... maybe this love to me is true love bah... but this period of love is the most painful... its really very painful lah... coz got alot things lah... but hope everything will be fine... then as for the rest of the probs... also hope it go smoothly lah... i really hope that i can forget all this probs one day... those minor de nvm... but those painful experience de... i really want to forget, even if something changes it to be not painful anymore... but there is already a big cut in my heart... that hurts me since im born.... this cut has been with me 15 years... haha anyway i write all this is becoz nobody to tell mah... haha so say out here loh... haha u guys dont need care lah... read read can le... i not want u all help... its my own probs so i dont wish other ppl to suffer too ^ ^